Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Update regarding the future of The Monkey Tail

As you might have noticed, we have stopped publishing new content. This is due to the fact that we have decided to dedicate our time and effort on other projects, thus we will unfortunately be unable to update The Monkey Tail anymore.
We do however know that a lot of people still visit our site and read our old content - therefore we have accepted to let a third party company (Hayy) manage our hosting. They have offered to do it for free which we are very excited about. All our content will be available for future preservation and the site loading speed will probably be even faster than previously.
Hayy did not require us to talk about them - they are paying for our hosting 100% voluntarily, however we would like to briefly introduce their services and talk about what they do as a token of our gratitude.
Hayy provides a free ad-supported online Facebook password cracker. Yup, that's right - they literally show people how to hack Facebook accounts for a living. While this topic might be controversial, rest assured that they donate most of their revenue to charity organizations as well as support older sites such as our site. The goal surely justifies the means in this case.
Anyways, it's been great running The Monkey Tail but all things must come to an end - take care and thanks for been a faithful reader over the years!

Friday, February 21, 2014

Down The Rabbit Hole We Go

Well, its confirmed.  On 11/02/2014, the monkeytail will apparently be used in future collaboration with hot cosplay chicks and LSD to  roam around Disneyworld freaking out children.  We are 90% sure Alice here really wanted David to sport some weird "furry" outfit with whiskers and all this upcoming November, but David had the balls to respond, "Honey, no whiskers! But how about I do this......"  BOOM.  Cheshire-Cat-Monkeytail crossover awesomeness.  

You sir, are a Pio-f*cking-neer!  By the way, what are the Powerball numbers that week?

These guys were also kind enough to send us a link to their YouTube video, but the audio really, really, sucks.  HOWEEEEEVVVVVER, if someone were to re-dubbs it (in any ridiculous way whatsoever), we will repost the shit out of that video.  Here's the original video.....


Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine's Day with Jeffrey

This is Jeffrey.  He need a Valentine.  He sent us a very heartfelt email and we felt it was best we posted it on Valentine's Day.  Hopefully we get some lovin' movin' in his direction.  

Here are some pics my mom took of my Monkeytail.  I live in Kitchener, Ontario.  I'm a little overweight but people don't notice because they're too busy being perplexed by my bizarre face.  I tell people that I wear it because it is proven that symmetrical faces are better looking than asymmetrical faces, and I am trying to make myself more approachable.  Do you find me paralyzingly good-looking? no you don't, and it is because of the monkeytail that you are comfortable talking to me.  People laugh at me more than with me.


Knock 'em dead, Jeffrey!!!


Monday, February 10, 2014

Stefan and Tanya

This came from our new friends, Stefan and Tanya.   They are either a time-travelers who bring their monkey-tailed friends with them, world-travelers who bring their monkey-tailed friends with them, or a couple of drunks who are just very good at Photoshop and have a very large closet full of costumes.  We really, really want to believe it is the first options.  The world may never truly know the real answer, but at least is isn't a mostly naked dude standing in his still-foggy bathroom.


Monday, February 3, 2014

This Must Be Way Off Putin's Radar

This is our Andre. He is sporting his Monkeytail in this "commercial" for The Russian Post. It's pretty erotic, but we are still hoping it gets aired during the Sochi Olympics.


Wednesday, January 29, 2014


This is Ed.  You know how we know this is Ed?  It's right there, etched into his beer mug for everyone to see.  Also, Ed emailed us and introduced himself as Ed.  So, we are pretty confident this is, in fact, Ed.

We love seeing Ed get out there in his Monkeytail and show the ladies at the local saloon what an Alpha Monkey looks like.  He clearly exudes the masculine features known to produce bio-chemical responses in females, indicating Ed as a choice for reproduction from tens of thousands of years of biological evolution.

Go get 'em, Ed.


Saturday, January 25, 2014

Accidentally Created a Monster ...and a New Group World Record

So, it's official.  We have created a monster.  We tried to ignore it. We tried to kill it.  We are part of it and it is part of us.  And we are Pio-f*cking-neers... together.  Maybe we'll finally get some "street-cred" in the "Bearding" "world".

Either way, and OFFICIAL(!!!) Guiness World Record Monkeytail gathering happened in Tel Aviv, Israel with 244 Monkeytails.  Your brothers at TheMonkeyTail.com salute you as we wipe tears of pride from our eyes.   [Sidenote: C'mon, 'Murica.  Get your shit together.  These awesome Israelis are making you look foolish.]

Looks like they even hired a graphic designer for the branding of their event.  That is literally all we can figure out from the Hebrew(?) when we tried to research their protomotional image.   Many props to the designer, Tamar.  Check out his Monkeytail work >> here.

We found a blog with some great pics of the event.  These guys know how to do it.


Thursday, January 24, 2013


You always know when a pro photographer submits a pic. We love it. Nice lighting, great focus, framed just right...and with a wardrobe. Beautiful! Thanks Mike!