Sunday, May 29, 2011

NHL Playoff Beard

Meet Jeremy. The new Nashville Predator.

Saturday, May 28, 2011


An old Dutch proverb says: Indien de baard de wijsheid bracht, zo werd de bok het wijst geacht (If a beard were a sign of wisdom, the he-goat would be the wisest). Well maybe we aren't wise like he-goats, but as our buddy Evert will tell you, the Monkeytail beard is the right amount of geekiness and style.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Monkeytail Tech

Meet Andrew and Warren. They're system administrators of monkey technology at the University of Florida. Sounds pretty nerdy. But who says nerds can't have giant balls? Few leave their house with the monkeytail and these dudes took them to work. High fives gentlemen.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Bathroom Date Night

Looks like Randy has a hot date. Probably not his first, but unfortunately his last.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


We're 98.7% certain Jeremy is a Resident Advisor (RA) at a college somewhere.  He looks like he would be the nicest, most polite person to run into. However the fact that he has a monkeytail tarnishes his image and makes him a disgusting degenerate.

Your mother's worried, Jeremy. Call her.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Monkeytail on French-Canadian TV!!!!

We have ABSOLUTELY no idea what this guy is talking about.  However, Le Dude on the left is CLEARLY rocking the Ringtail made famous from this post.  It is pretty obvious that this is show is a huge propaganda machine and that the Frech-Canadians are positioning themselves for world domination.  They are off to a great start defining their leader.

Check out the video here.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Mother Russiatail

We have no idea how to begin pronouncing Степан's name, but we're pretty sure it rhymes with awesome.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Salt, Salt, Salt, Salt N' Pepa's here.....

...and we're in effect!!

We're not sure our Brazilian broheim Cesinha, has any idea who Salt N Pepa even are. But, like all of us, he definitely likes to push it good...push it real good.

Friday, May 20, 2011


Ok. So it's obvious Steve was no valedictorian, but our cap's are off to him. Not only does he have the balls to leave his bathroom with the Monkeytail, but he braved the leers from legions of other grads, and rocked it at his college graduation- a true piofuckineer! 

Steve's mom (Carol) was disgusted when she saw him, yet his dad (John B) was so proud that he threw him a high five and gave him some cash to get drunk that night. A win/win. Congrats Steve!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Rabo de Macaco

Rabo de Macaco is how you say "monkey tail" in Portuguese. I wonder how you say, "super creepy video" in Portuguese?

Obrigado Bruno!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Meth Tail

You can learn a lot about a person based on the background of their photographs. From the looks of it, James is either renovating his bathroom or brewing meth. Quite possibly both.

What do you think he's looking at?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Deliverance of the Monkeytail Variety

Kent delivers this Monkeytail all the way from Hattiesburg, Mississippi. He might be our first submission from the deep South! Kent looks like a big dude. We're 99% sure no one down there made the poor decision to call him a hipster or a douchebag. There goes your theory, Geekologie fans.  

However if someone did make the mistake it probably went like this:

Wiseass: "Nice beard, hipster."
Kent: "Boy, you sure got a purdy mouth."
Wiseass: "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean it. WAIT! STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! NO! WHYYY?!"

Monday, May 16, 2011

Grizzly Adams Did Have a Beard

But this Grizzly appears to be rockin' the monkey tail beard. Memphis point guard Mike Conley may have missed a spot while shaving, but he certainly wasn't missin' shots during the conference semifinals against Oklahoma City. Unfortunately the Grizzlies lost the series, however thanks to Mike's superstitions the monkeytail may have earned a big victory as the face of the new playoff beard. Thanks for the submission Seth!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

It's Just Deeper


It's nice to see a submission from someone who knows how to use a real camera. Looks like an expensive one too! Perfect lighting, the timelessness of black and white- it's not a blurry cell phone shot. We could say the framing is very Myspace, but the word Myspace sounds strange and foreign these days. "What's Myspace?" We could infer that the shot is a commentary deep into the photographers journey of self-reflection. OR, we could just say, SWEET FU*KIN TAIL, Zach!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Monkeytail in History: Part II "From Russia with Love"

Ole' Uncle Joe, here, was submitted by our new friend Dmitriy. In preparing his post, we Googled: Fun Facts about Joseph Stalin. Turns out there are none. What we do know is that Stalin would've been a lot cooler if he had a Monkeytail beard.

And for our Russian friends...

Оле "дядя Джо, здесь, был представлен наш новый друг Дмитрий. При подготовке своего поста, мы поисковой системе Google: Забавные факты об Иосифе Сталине. Оказывается Есть нет. То, что мы знаем, что Сталин уже было много более здорово, если он Monkeytail бородой. любит Восточную Европу и Россию! (via Google Translate which is pretty shitty we hear)

How poor is our Russian?

Thursday, May 12, 2011


Paul sent us this one. Yes, it is our 3rd topless Monkeytail submission in a row, but we won't take issue this round. This dude looks pretty badass. His photo effect makes him look like a cross between the Incredible Hulk and a guy who enjoys punching people in the face.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Not Safe for Work..or is it?

Well maybe not entirely NSFW, but we would've rather seen a shirt on this guy. Way too many naked dudes submitting pictures to us, people. We applaud the effort, but still a little weirded out how readily you put topless pictures of yourself on the interweb.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Mii, Myself and I

More like, Mii, myself and AWESOME! Take it from Kristin O- you don't need to be able to grow facial hair to rock the Monkeytail- get creative! Now if only we could get those bastards at Nintendo onboard...

Silver Fox (Tail)

Mike is here to set the record straight.  The carpet does not match the Monkeytail.

Monday, May 9, 2011

The Zissou-tail

If there was ever a man worth emulating, it would be Bill Murray. If there were any style that would make Bill Murray just a hint more captivating, it would be a monkey tail beard. Our friend Mike from the Ithaca Beer Company, triumphantly demonstrates the cool, confidence and even bravado that a Monkeytail can bring to adventures on the high seas in this homage to The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou...and to a lesser extent, the infamous Myspace pose (don't remember it? check here).

Sunday, May 8, 2011

How do you say Salt N' Pepper in Spanish?

Pretty sure this guy has killed a few people. Just to make sure, we reported him to Interpol.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Beat Goes On

Kerouac would be impressed. Ginsberg would be aroused. But this is no Naked Lunch (and fortunately Ian's wearing a shirt). But the style of his monkey tail beard submission reminds us of a generation characterized by an anti-comformist, underground youth movement, and what it means to be on the beat...

...or in our case, just a bunch of douchebags.

Friday, May 6, 2011

New World Record!

We have a new Group World Record! Four, count 'em FOUR monkey tail beards in one picture. I am sure Cinco de Mustachio was set afire with such a display of douche-baggery. Thanks for keeping your shirts on, guys.

Now it's your turn, boys and girls. Rally the troops and submit 5 or more monkey tails in one picture, and just like that, you'll be a world record holder! Seems simple enough, doesn't it? Besides, it's not like you're going to hold a world record in anything else..

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Tails From My Mom's Basement

"Maybe now I won't have to try to sneak into Comic Con as Purple Superman..hmmm. But would the Justice League really buy into Monkeyman?"

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Nothing says "Internet Meme" like cute kittens. However, thanks to Lauren's detailed notes from an important business meeting, I think we've just found a way to make cute kittens repulsive.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Two Chicks at the Same Time

Best part about this picture is that Cat and Ellen from Warrington, England are our first female monkey tail beards, and it doesn't appear that they're in a bathroom (like every other post on our site).

Double High Five x2 = 4 High Fives!

Now it's time to encourage everyone- man, woman, child and beast, to get creative, get out of the bathroom, and show us your Monkeytail! Check out our Facebook page and follow us on the Tweet Machine for contests and more coming soon.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Monkey Tailiban

Pretty sure this underling regrets hitting the old send button when he submitted his monkey tail beard pic to us. Rumor has it, this was the final piece of intelligence the US needed to send in the Navy SEAL team to take out bin Laden. BIG HIGH FIVE to all our service men and women who helped make this happen- loves our troops!